Pockets

by Janet R. Knight

“Now I lay me down to sleep…”

“Be present at our table, Lord…”

“Thank you for the food we eat…”

“God bless the mountains: God bless the sea…”

“God bless Mommy, Daddy . . .”

These phrases from childhood prayers are probably familiar to all of us. Most of them are made up of short phrases ending in words that rhyme, a format that is easier for a child to remember. It’s good for children to have that kind of help as they begin their prayer lives.

But here’s the question: How many of us adults have moved very far beyond these simple prayers, at least when we pray aloud? And if we haven’t grown in our prayer lives, in our daily conversations with God, how can we help our children grow in this all-important aspect of their faith lives?

The good news is that we don’t have to have “arrived” in our prayer lives before we can help children grow in theirs. We can grow right along with them! I gained insight into this several years ago from reading Betty Shannon Cloyd’s book Children and Prayer. Keys to helping our children grow in their prayer life, no matter how ill-equipped we may feel to do that, include:

❉ To begin to encourage children’s prayer lives as early as possible, perhaps even before birth

❉ To incorporate prayer into our daily routines in a natural way

❉ To become comfortable with praying aloud with our children (by doing so regularly)

❉ To become more aware of God’s presence in little ways in our daily lives

❉ To understand that we don’t have to know all of the answers

The most important thing we can do for our children’s prayer life, Cloyd says, is to let them know that they can have an ongoing and personal relationship with God. “We want them to know that God is the center of their lives. God is not something tacked on to Sunday or on to other special times, but God is with them as a constant and loving companion.”

This article may read like a book review, but it isn’t. Rather, its intent is to say that there are some things we need to be thinking about in relation to our youngest members of God’s family. We tend to think about other aspects of our children’s lives in great detail. As soon as we learn a new child is on the way, we choose nursery décor and accumulate everything we think the little person will need. As they grow, we buy educational books and software to stimulate the minds of our children. We sign them up for soccer and ballet and music lessons. We read the nutritional information before we buy cereal or juice for them. But what about the child’s faith development? If it occurs to us to think about that at all, we probably think,  “Well, we go to church, so the church will take care of that—right?”

Only partially. The church certainly has an important role to play in the spiritual development of our children. But parents have the primary responsibility for helping their child grow in his or her relationship with God. Here are some simple ways to do that:

It’s never too early to start. Pray “with” the baby while it is still in the womb. Praying a sentence prayer aloud over the baby in the crib, saying the child’s name aloud, can be the basis for prayer as the child grows.

Stay simple. As the child starts praying with you, one-sentence prayers are best.

Pray anytime, anywhere, integrating prayer into daily routines. And establish regular family prayer times.

Accept the child’s prayer for what it is. Children’s prayers go through stages. They may sound like magic formulas or wish lists. Accept the prayers but nudge children along to broaden their understanding of prayer.

Encourage children to pray in their own words. Help them understand that no special words or formula are needed to talk to God.

Help children learn the prayers of the faith community. Praying along with the congregation helps a child feel part of the worshipping community.

Help children understand that prayer is also listening to God. This is a hard concept for children. Help them know that God speaks in the quiet of their hearts, in the love and help they receive from others, and in scripture.

Help children understand what it means when we say that God answers prayers. Help them know that God is good, God loves them, God wants what is best for them, and God is with them. Then when an answer to a prayer is a long time coming or is not the desired answer, the child can still trust God’s answers and continue to pray.

Help children know God as a friend or as a tender shepherd. Children’s images of God affect their prayer life.

Help children know that they can say anything to God. Help them know that God wants to hear everything in our hearts and that God understands when our hearts are less than perfect or when we feel lost.

Let children see you praying!

Janet R. Knight was the long-time editor of Pockets magazine.