Pockets

The journey I underwent with breast cancer a few years ago was not something I would have chosen. But as many people who have experienced serious illness find, the challenges I faced in connection with my illness helped me to rearrange some of my priorities.

My bout with cancer slowed me down long enough for me to give serious thought to what is important. Our world inundates us with so much information about how to live better, healthier, happier, fuller, more successful lives that the information flow–or overflow–is distracting at best and downright overwhelming sometimes. We’re tempted to rush from one thing to another, often without much reflection.

For young people, who are just beginning to clarify their values and set their own priorities, the world must be even more confusing with so many forms of media, peers, school, all telling them what’s important and what it takes to be popular. They need the help of loving adults to sort out what’s important.

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’m happy to share some of the things our family has done that have heaped me to reprioritize.

 

Back to Basics

We are all so busy with the stuff of life that it’s easy to lose sight of what is most important, but I think we can simplify the process a great deal by returning to the basic priorities: faith and family. Our family began sharing a 15-minute devotional period each morning before our two granddaughters left for school. We take turns reading a devotional, praying a short prayer, and ending with our own version of a group hug–which all of the family dogs wanted to join in, too.

Then at the end of the day, we review our day together and end with a prayer. In this way, the entire day is bracketed by prayer, and we’re relaying the message to our granddaughters that we keep God first in our lives throughout the day.

 

The Great Commandment

Giving God top priority in our lives helps us keep things in the proper perspective. Making choices and wiser decisions and loving others as ourselves just seem to follow naturally after that. Beginning my day with God always ensures that I’ll have the time and energy to do everything else that needs to be done.

 

A Simple Symbol

Wearing a Christian symbol–a cross, a dove, a WWJD bracelet–can serve as a reminder to pray for someone who is hurting, to not retaliate when provoked, and to keep God first in all we do. Our granddaughters often related wonderful stories about how just glancing at their bracelets helped them remember their priorities–and act accordingly.

 

The Secret of a Full Calendar

Like many people, I find that if I’m not careful other people will decide how I use my time. So I fill in my calendar with things that are important to me (my morning devotional time, my choir practice, my Sunday school classes, our family outings and celebrations, etc.) before I take on other commitments. I also try to set my priorities with prayer as much as possible, using God’s agenda and the things that I feel matter to God. When I sometimes still begin to over-schedule myself (old habits are hard to break!) I reassess my activities according to God’s priorities. I also ask myself how important that particular activity will seem a year from not, five years from now, etc.

 

A Graphic Reminder

A friend has on a ledge above her kitchen sink a small jar filled with a walnut surrounded by grains of rice. The label reads: The walnut in this jar represents the time we spend with God. The rice represents the time we spend doing other things. If you pour the rice into the jar first and then try to insert the walnut, the walnut will not fit. if you put the walnut in first, the, pour the rice around it, there is a perfect fit.

I think that just about sums up everything in a nutshell, so to speak. If we keep God first in our lives and help the children we love to do the same, then everything else will fall into place.

 

Sandra Humphrey is a retired clinical psychologist and an author. Several of her stories have been featured in Pockets.

Now that the first candle on the Advent wreath has been lit, many of us find ourselves poised (or braced) for what feels like a headlong rush toward Christmas. And as much as we may love many of the traditions of the season (even the secular ones), we also find ourselves longing for more meaning, more focus on Christ, more connection with those we love.

Try some of these ideas, many adapted from our December issue:

 

Follow an Advent calendar. Our December issue includes such a calendar, and you can certainly find these in bookstores and many places on-line. Each day, take a moment as a family to read the activity or scripture for the day together.

Take time for Advent devotions. Use our devotions or others, but take time for this weekly ritual. If Sunday afternoons or evenings are impossible, choose a different time. Taking the time to focus on Christ is more important than when it occurs.

Emphasize gratitude. Each time you gather for a family meal, encourage each family member to name things for which he or she is thankful and include gratitude for these blessings and especially for God’s gift of Christ in your prayers.

Find an activity your family can do together to help others that demonstrates the spirit of Jesus. These don’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming: invite a lonely neighbor over for cookies and hot chocolate; gather outgrown and unneeded coats and take them to a family shelter; take a young child of a single parent shopping for a gift for the parent.

Sing Advent and Christmas songs together—at home, in the car, at church, in your neighborhood, in a nursing home.

Emphasize homemade gifts and gifts of time and caring.

Remember that you don’t have to do everything! The activities your family could participate in this time of year are limitless, but that doesn’t mean you have to do them all. Schedule a discussion on which activities are most important to each family member, and be selective. Make sure each week includes some quiet time. An evening at home with everyone in their pj’s may be more important (and more fun) than attending a performance of The Nutcracker.

Include worship in your family celebrations on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Read the story of Jesus’ birth from Luke 2:1-20. Sing “Joy To the World” or another favorite carol. Pray together, letting each person express his or her Christmas joy.

Remember that Christmas doesn’t end on December 25. The Christmas season continues until Epiphany on January 6, so continue to celebrate Christ’s birth together!

 

Lynn W. Gilliam is editor of Pockets magazine.

You can buy an Advent wreath or make your own by setting four candles in a circle and surrounding them with greenery. Advent wreaths usually have three purple candles and one pink candle, or four purple candles. If your wreath has a pink candle, light it on the third Sunday of Advent. A taller, white candle (the “Christ candle”) goes in the center of the wreath.

First Sunday of Advent

 

Light the first candle.

One: We are waiting and watching.

All: We are waiting and watching for the son of God.

Read Isaiah 64:1-9.

 

One: As we wait and watch, we want to let God’s love shape us as a potter shapes clay.

All: We want to let God’s love shape us to be kind and gentle.

One: We want to let God’s love shape us to be fair and to stand up for what’s right.

All: We want to let God’s love shape us to make time to read our Bibles and to pray.

One: We want to let God’s love shape us to be peacemakers.

All: We want to let God’s love shape us to be ready to welcome Jesus into our hearts and our homes.

Prayer: Loving God, we want to be molded by you into the people you want us to be. Amen.

 

Second Sunday of Advent

Light the candle from last week and the second candle.

One: We are waiting and watching.

All: We are waiting and watching for the son of God.

Read Isaiah 40:1-5.

 

One: As we watch and wait, we want to prepare the way.

All: We want to prepare the way by spending time with God.

One: We want to prepare the way by loving our neighbors.

All: We want to prepare the way by treating all people with kindness and respect.

One: We want to prepare the way by caring for God’s creation.

All: We want to prepare the way to welcome Jesus into our hearts and our homes.

Prayer: Gracious God, help us to prepare the way to welcome Jesus. Amen.

 

Third Sunday of Advent

Light the first two candles and the third candle.

One: We are waiting and watching.

All: We are waiting and watching for the son of God.

Read Luke 1:46-52.

 

One: As we wait and watch, we want to learn from people like Mary.

All: We want to learn how to listen to God even when we are afraid.

One: We want to learn how to say yes to God even when others don’t understand.

All: We want to learn how to trust God even when we’re not sure how things are going to turn out.

One: We want to learn to praise God, no matter what’s going on in our lives.

All: We want to learn how to welcome Jesus into our hearts and our homes.

Prayer: God, help us to learn from your faithful servants so that we can serve you, too. Amen.

 

Fourth Sunday of Advent

Light all of the candles on the outside of the wreath.

 

One: We are waiting and watching.

All: We are waiting and watching for the son of God.

Read Luke 1:39-45.

One: As we wait and watch, we want to recognize Jesus when we see him.

All: We want to recognize him in the members of our family.

One: We want to recognize him in our friends.

All: We want to recognize him in people we have a hard time liking.

One: We want to recognize him in people whom no one seems to care about.

All: We want to recognize him in classmates and co-workers.

One: We want to recognize him in everyone we meet.

All: We want to recognize and welcome Jesus into our hearts and our homes.

 

Prayer: God, help us to recognize Jesus in all of the people whom you have created and whom you love. Amen.

 

 

 

Christmas Day

Light all of the candles, including the Christ candle.

One: Our waiting and watching is over!

All: The son of God is here! Jesus is born!

Read Luke 2:1-14

 

One: This is a day of celebration and joy!

All: This is a day for singing and shouting!

One: The Savior has come!

All: Jesus is born for us!

One: Jesus is born for all!

All: Thanks be to God!

Prayer: God of Christmas, thank you for the best gift ever—the gift of Jesus! Help us to live each with gratitude for this gift. Amen.

Epiphany 

Light all of the candles.

One: We watched and we waited until the coming of the son of God,

All: Until the birth of Jesus.

Read Matthew 2:1-12.

One: Just as the wise men did, we bring gifts to Jesus—

All: Gifts of kindness and love,

One: Gifts of peaceful living and compassion,

All: Gifts of caring for each other and our neighbors,

One: Gifts of respect for God’s creation and God’s people.

All: We offer these gifts to Jesus!

Prayer: God of light, help us to offer our gifts to your world each day. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by George Hovaness Donigian

 

You visit the earth and water it, 

you greatly enrich it;

the river of God is full of water; 

you provide the people with grain, 

for so you have prepared it. 

–Psalm 65:9

This month many of us in the United States will join in Thanksgiving celebrations with family and friends. Long before such feasts in the United States, the Bible witnesses to celebrations of thanks to God for deliverance and for bounteous harvests.

Psalm 65 offers such a thanksgiving for bounteous crops, but the psalmist does not limit such thanksgiving to the yield of a region or a nation; the psalmist extends that thanksgiving to the whole earth.

As you gather for your Thanksgiving celebrations this month, you may wish to read the entire text of Psalm 65 as part of the prayer before the meal. Whether you read it aloud before the meal or share it in a quieter family time, consider the actions that the psalm celebrates. God:

answers prayers;

forgives transgressions

answers with deliverance;

makes the gateways of the day shout for joy;

enriches the earth;

crowns the year with bounty.

In response to God, the psalmist writes that the meadows clothe themselves, the valleys deck themselves, and together these shout and sing for joy. These actions grow from God, whose first attributes in the psalm are to answer prayers and to forgive.

After reading Psalm 65, take time to answer these Thanksgiving questions:

How did God answer my prayers during this year?

How have I grown closer to God during this year?

Who has helped me grow in my faith?

How will I praise God today?

 

Pray this prayer together:

O God, we thank you for all your good gifts! Amen.

 

George Hovaness Donigian is a pastor, Armenian activist, and former editor of Discipleship Resources. He lives in Greenwood, South Carolina.

 

This meditation is adapted from The Upper Room Disciplines: A Book of Daily Devotions, 2011, Thursday, November 24. For more information visit bookstore.upperroom.org.

by Judith E. Smith

 

Many years ago, when my son, Tobie, was in the first grade, he experienced a great deal of rejection in school. None of our efforts to alleviate the situation helped, and I was feeling desperate. One night at bedtime, when Tobie had been crying because he did not want to go to school the next day, I asked him to lie still and close his eyes. I then told him the story of Jesus inviting the children to come to him.

Then I said, “Tobie, imagine that Jesus came to our neighborhood and all of the neighborhood children were playing outside and Jesus invited all of you to sit on his lap. He gave you all hugs, and you knew that he loved you very much. Then imagine that all the other children had to go home and you were alone with Jesus. Imagine that you are sitting on Jesus’ lap and you feel safe and loved. Tell Jesus about all the hard things that happened at school and the hurt feelings that you had. And then listen to what Jesus might say to you about how he loves you and about what you might do to help the situation at school. Talk to Jesus and listen to Jesus as long you want before you fall asleep.”

When Tobie came home the next afternoon, he said that on his way to school he had remembered something his grandmother had once told him. She had said that she sometimes handles difficult situations by saying over and over again, “God, I’m trusting you.” Tobie decided he would try her method. And then he said, “I think maybe it helped, Mom,” and went out to play. That night when it was time for bed, we finished our family prayers and he said, “Will you please tell me another story like you did last night? I want to talk to Jesus and listen to Jesus again.”

The story I had told him was simple, but because it helped him deal with a real problem he wanted to do it again. For several years we did it every night. For us, it was a way of telling biblical stories so that they became our stories. Biblical stories are the foundation of our faith. One the best ways we can be spiritual guides to our children is by sharing those stories with them.

 

Sharing the Biblical Stories

We can share the biblical stories by reading or telling them to our children, by using the Bible during family rituals, and by telling our children the ways in which these stories are real in our lives. We can tell them anywhere and anytime — at the supper table, at bedtime, in the car. Sometimes we plan to tell them, and sometimes we tell them spontaneously in response to a particular experience we have.

When you read, choose either a good Bible storybook or a modern translation suited to the age of your children. When they are able, children should be encouraged to read the stories for themselves. Children will have lots of questions, and we should not be afraid of those questions but should respond as honestly as we can. We must never be afraid to say, “I don’t know.” One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is the willingness to seek answers with them and to accept the fact that sometimes there are no clear answers. That gives children the courage to continue to question.

We can also share biblical stories by participating with our children as I did with Tobie in the experience of meditation. Biblical meditation is simply reflecting on a passage of scripture and listening to what God says to us in our own lives. We can help children do this by telling them the biblical stories and then inviting them to become a part of the story and to hear what God is saying to them. To hear God speak through the story is to link the story and prayer together. Begin with a simple scripture story and end with a question or suggestion that helps relate the story to everyday life.

Children need stories that offer them possibilities for their own lives. They need to know people who have been obedient to God, people who have remained faithful when it was not easy. Their imaginations will help them enter into the story, identify with it, and make it their own.

Sharing Life Stories

There are also dozens of stories in your own family, church, and community. These are not stories that you can read out of a book. You will have to tell them, as a friend of mine says, “out of your body.” We all know people of courage and vision who have lived in faithful obedience to God. Every day we meet people who have endured quietly during times of hardship or who have acted with integrity at significant personal cost. They are our neighbors. Do not forget them because they are so near to you. Our children can meet these heroes face to face, talk with them about their lives, and ask them questions.

And finally, do not forget your children’s own stories. One of the special ways you can nurture the faith of your children is by telling them their own stories—stories of their birth and baptism, their life within the Christian community, ways they have been helpful to others, and the ways God has acted in their lives. Then, as they become older, we can help them tell their stories themselves.

The stories that we shared were important to Tobie and me. They were a part of our learning to listen to God together. The telling of the stories is shaped by the events and the feelings that make up our daily life, and our lives in turn are being shaped by the biblical stories. The warmth and closeness of the relationship that we share brings a special kind of importance to the stories.

There are other faith stories that we can share with our children. Some are historical stories—stories of women and men who have lived in a relationship of love and loyalty to God, who have been obedient during difficult times. Perfect plastic saints do not make great heroes, and their stories are rarely good stories. Children need stories of real men and women who can be role models for them: Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Harriet Tubman, Corrie ten Boom. There are dozens of them and their stories are readily available.

To be a spiritual guide to your children is to share with them a vision that helps them live in loving relationship with God. It is to share your own experience of God and to tell the stories of our faith that can help them understand their experience and know and love God. We need to be honest about our own difficulties in thinking about God and in living a life of faith. One of the great gifts we can give our children is to let go of our need to have all the answers and honestly explore with them the deepest questions of our life and our faith. One important way we do that is by sharing the stories that shape our lives in faithful ways.

by MaryJane Pierce Norton

Do you remember the story of Jesus and the children? When I read this story, I close my eyes and try to picture the scene. I see a deep blue sky, and I picture little swirls of dust whirling around the feet of Jesus and the disciples as they walk along. I see a tree spreading its shade invitingly and Jesus and the disciples sitting down under the tree to rest for a while.

Even as Jesus rested, I imagine, people gathered around to ask questions and to listen to his teachings. Into this picture comes a new element: children. Children running to Jesus, some carried in their mother’s arms, to be close to the great teacher. And wonder of wonders — Jesus welcomes them!

I can even see the disciples’ faces. Some register horror at the interruption; others disgust that the women cannot control the children, and a few faces, puzzlement that Jesus seems to welcome the children when everyone knows Jesus has better things to do.

And I love the picture that enters my mind when Jesus speaks. Disgust and impatience turn to surprise when Jesus says, “Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you that whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it” (Mark 10:14-15, TEV).

Sharing the Faith

When I was the parent of young children, I often asked myself, “How can I share my faith with my children in a way that makes sense to them?” That’s an important question for all of us who care about the spiritual development of children (our own or others in our care). We need to keep asking that question. We also need to ask, “How have I been open to listening to and responding to these children so that they help my faith grow?” For me, the story of Jesus and the children helps emphasize that children minister to us just as we do to them.

John Westerhoff, who has written extensively on children and faith, likened the development of faith to the rings on a tree. Tree rings show the years of growth for that particular tree. The rings may reflect bad years or years with very little water. They can reflect years when disease was present and years when all was well. Each ring adds to the tree, but the tree is always a tree, whether it has two rings or twenty.

That’s the same with faith. Whether there are nine years or forty-nine years or ninety-nine years represented, the faith of the person is full, and the relationship with God is real.

One of the primary goals of Christian parents is to provide homes where their children’s faith can be nurtured and where we are open to having our faith nurtured by our children.

One of the ways we do this is by reading, studying, and talking about the Bible together. When one of our sons was nine he read a book about Daniel in the lion’s den. Then, during Christian Adventure Week, a time at our church for study and activities, one of the storytellers told the story of Daniel. When our son got home, he was full of questions. There were differences in the two stories, and he wanted to know which one was true. He also wanted to know if things like that happened to people today. His questions sent me scurrying for the Bible. I wasn’t sure I remembered all the details of the story. And I wasn’t sure which version was “right.” The only way for both of us to learn together was to read the story directly from the Bible. It didn’t matter so much how I answered the questions. What mattered and helped us both grow was the time reading together and then sharing our own thoughts about what this told us about God.

Children are natural doers. They are active, they love projects, and they love to be involved. Thinking and talking about an idea is not always enough. One way we grow in faith together is to become people of action. You might want to reread the book of James in the New Testament. Its emphasis on good works made Martin Luther cringe, but it does help us realize that we often judge a person’s faith by the actions we see.

Faith in Action

Ask yourself these questions: How could my faith be seen by others during the last few weeks? What did I do that said in a clear way, “I believe in a loving God and in loving my neighbor as myself?” You may want to make a list of those things. Now ask yourself which of these things also involved your children.

I remember one of the many times it became necessary to weed out some of of oldest son’s toys. Many of them, though he had outgrown them, showed very little wear. He was also very possessive of his toys, and I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be. His dad and I told him that there were children in our city who would enjoy it if he would share some of his toys with them. We told him of the friend who was collecting the toys and where they would be taken. We then asked him to go through his toys and decide which ones he would like to give away. This was a thoughtful process for him, but when he had finished he had decided to give away many more than we might have. Projects like these are faith in action. And our son ministered to us through his unexpected generosity.

It’s a little scary, but we can be certain that our words and our actions will be mimicked be our children. And when our actions contradict our words, it’s the actions that will be duplicated. If we tell our children that they must show love to all people while saying ugly things about the neighbors, I am sending double messages. My child is likely to think my words are meaningless.

Certainly faith is reflected as we are nurtured by and contribute to the larger Christian community by participating in a local church. Our culture used to be one where church-going was the norm, not the exception. Now that is not the case. In fact, many of our children’s friends may be sleeping in, watching television, or playing soccer instead of going to church and Sunday school. We may, in fact, be counterculture by spending our time on Sunday in church. But that may not be altogether too different from the early Christians.

MaryJane Pierce Norton is Associate General Secretary of the General Board of Discipleship and has written extensively about family and children’s ministries.

 

The Spiritual Lessons of Family Life

 

My son, John, graduates from high school this month. The approach of this milestone is, of course, both exciting and scary. I both dread and eagerly anticipate the “empty nest” coming our way in a few short months. I’m excited as we approach college orientation for him, but I worry every time I remember something we may not have taught our son adequately. (Can he really do his own laundry? He’s still not too great at getting himself up in the morning! How will he get along with a still-unknown roommate?)

The approaching milestone also invites me to reflect a bit on the spiritual lessons I’ve learned through being a parent to John and his older sister, Caitlin. Here are a few of the important ones that come to mind:

God’s love for us is powerful. Before I had children, the image of God as parent felt sweet and vaguely comforting to me. Once I held my newborn children, that image was transformed forever. The kind of love I experienced for them did not fit that “warm fuzzy” image. It was tender, yes, but also incredibly fierce and powerful. The kind of love that would withhold nothing, stop at nothing, be daunted by nothing. And I held my babies in complete awe and asked myself over and over, “Is it really possible? Could God really love me this much?” The answer, of course, is “Yes, and more.”

God is right here, in the very midst of our lives. That’s what incarnation is all about, of course. Emmanuel. God with us. And I celebrate the fact of it because on most days if God were not in the midst of the very ordinariness of our lives—in conversations and chores and messy rooms and busy days—I would not find God at all. But, thankfully, I often find God in these ordinary activities.

It’s good to slow down. In many ways, being a parent kicks your life into warp speed. But in other ways, it slows you down. It’s impossible to hurry through nursing a newborn. No matter how you try, rushing a toddler is not likely to be successful. The kindergarten Thanksgiving play lasts as long as it lasts, no matter how many other things you “should” be doing. The fifth grader needs to talk about his day, even if you’re supposed to be on your way to a meeting. A teen wants your input on navigating the precarious waters of high-school social life. I’ve been a parent for twenty-three years now, and at every point, I’ve been continually learning and re-learning the lesson of slowing down, listening, paying attention. It’s a lesson I’m also continually learning and relearning in my life with God.

Ritual is important. For both holiday times and ordinary times, ritual binds us together and forms our common memories. In family life and in our church communities, rituals often express inexpressible truths. When we light the candles on the Advent wreath in our living room we are expressing the truth of Christ coming into our world and our lives. When we enact rituals particular to our own family—singing our silly first-day-of-school song, holding hands as we pray before meals, eating pumpkin pie for breakfast on the morning after Thanksgiving—we are expressing the truth that we are bound together in love and that it means something to be a part of this particular family. And isn’t that the same purpose that the rituals of our church serve? It’s sacrament—the outward and visible expression of and inward and spiritual grace.

Offering and receiving forgiveness is powerful and healing. Living with other people offers us plenty of opportunity to seek and offer forgiveness. As much as I would like to be always loving and soft-spoken, wise and understanding, I am not. I also find that the others with whom I live are likewise not perfect. So we get a lot of practice forgiving and being forgiven, and this is a good thing. Being forgiven by my husband or one of my children reminds me that God is always ready to forgive me.

Good things happen; bad things happen. Love endures. My family’s life is richly blessed in many ways. We’re all relatively healthy. We are not wealthy by our culture’s standards, but we have all that we need and more. My husband and I are fortunate to have meaningful work to do. We are part of a caring church community that has supported and cared for us. We are all blessed with wonderful friendships. This is not to say that our family or our life is perfect. We have known anxiety and grief, as all of us do in this life, and we surely will in the future. But whatever happens, we know that we are deeply loved by each other and even more so by the God who is with us through it all.

 

 

Lynn W. Gilliam is the editor of Pockets magazine.

 

by Pamela Holz Beres

There is a concrete bridge in my hometown with the year 1904 prominently inscribed. My grandfather once ran his hand along the bumpy surface, turned to me, and said, “This bridge is as old as I am.”

As a child, I had always thought of my grandfather as an eccentric fellow. He lived next door in a sparsely furnished home and wore ragged shirts and trousers while the new clothes hung in his closet, worn only for church and special occasions. Decades of hard work had earned him enough to live comfortably and enjoy a few extras. Instead, he chose to live simply, using only what he needed.

One day, as an adult, I thought about that bridge, the year my grandfather was born, and the years that followed. I pictured my grandfather — a strong young man eager to earn a living and support a family — when the Great Depression hit the United States. Finally, I understood. Now I see my grandfather’s habits not as eccentricities but as a solid set of values and traditions worthy of being passed on to his descendants.

Link to the Past

From the moment we’re born, we have a past. It shapes who we are, gives us a strong sense of identity, and strengthens our family ties. Even Christ, as the Son of Man, was born with a history. In fact, the New Testament begins not with the birth of Christ but with a lengthy list of his ancestors. Just as it is important for us to understand how Christ came to be born, so it is important for us to understand our ancestral background.

Search for the Gold

Quite often, we think of our family tree as a mere factual record—a list of names, birth dates, and death dates of people we barely remember or never knew at all. But a real treasure lies behind those names and dates. Who were these people? What were their strengths? their weaknesses? What did they do for a living? Was life a struggle? Or did everything come easily to them? Was their faith in God an important aspect of their lives? How did they express it? Knowing the trials and triumphs of past generations can give us a better understanding of our grandparents, our parents, and ultimately, ouselves.

A Bridge to the Future

Our family history is most meaningful when it is shared. But in today’s mobile society, our children are often left with little knowledge of who they are or where they came from. Unless we harvest the stories and traditions of our past, including those related to faith journeys, they die with the generations who lived them.

Take advantage of holidays, reunions, and other family events to seek stories that add spice and depth to your genealogical record. Talk to grandparents to find out about their childhoods, their courtships, their early years together.

Relate the stories you hear to your children. Does your child share a talent or special interest with a relative? Maybe your daughter’s lyrical voice reminds you of Aunt Betty, who sang in the church choir when you were a child. Or perhaps your son’s wild imagination reminds you of Grandpa’s endless tall tales. Let your children see these connections. They’ll take special pride in their abilities.

The stories you share will fascinate your children. Over time, the events, values, and beliefs that make them unique individuals will come together. They will appreciate their family’s traditions and will share them with the next generation.

Ways to Keep the Spirit of Family Alive

Integrate your child’s personal history into school work. For example, if your children are studying the Great Depression or the Vietnam War, encourage them to talk to a relative who lived through that period. Rather than doing a report on a famous person, perhaps your child can report on a family member.

When heirlooms and keepsakes are used or displayed, tell your child why these items are important to your family. Hang photos of grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins alongside current family photos.

Scrapbooking is a popular hobby. Give your children three-ring binders with dividers for different “branches” of the family—themselves, parents, grandparents, great-grandparents. Let them collect memorabilia and preserve it. Use rubber stamps, stickers, markers, and other inexpensive items to embellish the pages. Make sure you use acid-free materials.

Ask your children what they would like to know about a particular relative. Suggest that they include some questions such as “Who was your favorite Sunday school teacher?” or “Do you remember when you joined your church?” Have them record the questions in a notebook and interview that relative. The interview can be taped for posterity.

 

by Janet R. Knight

Ash Wednesday, March 9, marks the beginning of the six-week observance of Lent in the church. Lent culminates in the events of Holy Week, leading up to the great exultation of Easter Sunday. Because the mood of Lent itself is somber and introspective—some would even say gloomy—we often don’t think to include children in its observance, short of the almost obligatory food bank collection.

But Lent doesn’t have to be gloomy. Solemn, yes; but not gloomy. And children can do solemn! Perhaps we should ask ourselves why the opportunity to become more Christ-like is often presented as such a gloomy prospect.

It’s true that denial, abstinence, and sacrifice have long been Lenten emphases but not simply for the sake of going without. Rather, these practices are to help us to focus on Christ, to help us to draw closer to Christ, to immerse ourselves in Christian living, to become more Christ-like.

Families with preschool and elementary-age children can observe the Lenten season as a time when we focus on growing closer to Jesus. For very young children, one of the best ways to talk about Jesus is Jesus as the Good Shepherd (John 10:3-5, 14-16; Luke 15:4-6). For school-age children, families can focus on the Gospel readings about Jesus, such as Mark 9:1-5; Mark 8:31-38 or 9:2-9; John 2:13-22; John 3:14-21; John 12:20-33; Mark 11:1-11. (If your church follows the lectionary, follow the Gospel readings for the current lectionary year.)

Let children either draw the story on regular paper and tie their drawings on a Lenten tree (a bare branch set in a tall vase or a can filled with rocks or marbles) or draw the story using markers on heavy, transparent plastic (obtainable at an office supply store) and mount the drawings on windows for a stained-glass effect. If you find the lectionary readings don’t lend themselves to this activity, you could instead read one of Jesus’ parables each week and let children illustrate it.

Other Home Observances of Lent

Other ideas for observing Lent at home:

Create a Lenten worship center (or change your existing worship center). Use a purple cloth to represent penitence. Include a Bible opened to the Gospel lesson, an empty bowl to symbolize fasting, a sharing box for money for the poor, perhaps a cactus to symbolize a desert journey, and a cross of small branches tied together with twine.

Practice simplicity. An emphasis on simplicity is customary during Lent both to reflect gospel values and to be in solidarity/sharing with those on the margins. Although children won’t necessarily understand these reasons, just growing up in a home where simplicity is practiced is in itself spiritual formation. Here are some ways to practice simplicity:

• Plan to eat one simple meal each week, perhaps a soup supper or a rice-and-beans meal. Put the money you save by eating simply in your sharing box to donate to a cause of your choosing after Lent.
• Go through closets and donate gently used toys, clothing, and books.
• Turn off TV and computers one night a week and play family games.
• Plant spring seeds. If it’s still too cold outside, start them in a pot. On Easter Sunday transfer some of the seedlings outside.
• Tell I-remember-when family stories.
• Help children decide on one small thing to give up (to “fast” from, even though it may not be food) to help them focus on the purpose of Lent.
• Practice the ancient custom of “burying” (putting away) something for Lent and taking it out again with great joy on Easter Sunday. You could put away a decorative household item, or your family could make an alleluia banner to put away until Easter Sunday.
• Take on an act of service as a family. Suggestions include adopting a grandparent, visiting a homebound neighbor or church member, serving in a soup kitchen, or collecting blankets for homeless shelters.
• Each week let each person draw the name of someone in the family to do something nice for. That something nice can be as simple as giving someone a hug.
• Janet R. Knight is the former editor of Pockets magazine. She is a wife, mother, and grandmother and is active in her church’s outreach ministries with children.